♥♥ That's When I Love You ;;

•Thursday, October 11, 2007•5:41 AM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

hello world,
it's 5.42 in the morning.
i just kissed qing goodnight and he's on the bed snoring away.
i had a marathon of taiwanese serial shows the whole of today,
with the companion of qing.
i initially planned to go home today.
i still feel bad about the cake and i wanted to see my mummy.
however, qing didn't wanna accompany and i somehow was lazyyyy.
had macdonalds delivery for dinner.

qing is out of job now.
i've got no say because he just quit suddenly.
well, i hope he finds a stable job to his interest soon.
and myself, a job in the hotel or cosmetics line.
i don't want to go for anything that doesn't interest me,
because i don't wanna find me dragging myself out of bed every morning.
it would be a dread, even only thinking about it.
at least, out of 3days since he stopped working,
he bought lunch for me for 2days.
sometimes i just don't know what to say,
or what to do, but i really really really appreciate it -
alot alot alot.
i've typed it 3times down here,
so i really mean it.
just like when my mum does little or even simple things for me,
i don't even have the courage to say thank you to her.
makes me feel like shit. SHIT. shit.

i find that qing is getting a little too dependant on me
occasionally i'll feel tired. no doubt.
but i'm willing to do anything for him,
cus of the sake of us.
and maybe he doesn't know,
but he has this bad habit of not answering me when i ask qns.
maybe its because its me,
i don't see him behaving this way towards his friends.
sigh.
okay, maybe he's angry with me.
i needa go to monsoon's academy to have my hair dyed again later on.
i didn't want to, but because of the hair show on 14th.
i didn't know i had to prepare my hair tml for sunday.

yes i am very possesive,
though i know it's not good,
but i can't help it but feel this way.
i feel that i'm much much weaker then i was before.
crying over small matters,
even when i accidentally banged my knee on the wall just now.
i realised i can no longer take pain.
if only qing would be so understanding and to open up a little.
i don't think it's right because qing never cares about my interests.
ok you're right. i'm always wrong.
i shouldn't have agreed to help adam in the first place.
because i didn't know i had to go back to monsoon's academy for a few sessions.
maybe sometimes we should listen to explanations.
qing didn't even wanna listen to me speak.
leaves me constantly thinking,
is this a relationship because we're in love ?
or is this a relationship because we are already so used to having each other by our side thus we feel uneasy if either of us is not around ?
qing already gave me his answer,
but i'm still wondering.......

ok, i'm done whining here.
enough said.
to end this entry,
a lovely group picture.

good night world.

Let's Love.