Let's Love.

Let's Love.

i was crying my eyeballs out last night,
not because of the high and emotional effects i always get,
due to consuming alcohol.
i was already fuming mad when qing told me he was going out with his colleagues.
i'm not gonna mention anything here.


once in a very blue moon,
qing came home straight after work today,
am i'm glad about it.

but he hit his psp straight and fell asleep soon after.
was already planning to meet marissa,
together with sandra, ber, samantha, melvin & jo-lynne.
thus i proceeded with my plan.
my pleadings with qing to accompany me was a waste.
i shuld have known it earlier,
i always get rejected which makes me kinda annoyed.
he doesn't like getting close with the people i love.
such as my mum and even my cousins.
boo.
it was quite a homely gathering at upper changi's coffeeshop,
serving vermicelli. i hearts it.
havent got to eat it for quite sometime,
and damn it was so yummy i finished to whole bowl.

it's pigs kidney vermicelli. nice !


after filling our tummies we headed to studio 8teen,
to join sarah.
she couldn't join us because she's working.
didn't feel like drinking because its my off day.
so we had baileys.
it's so much better den martell, chivas and even beer.
smelling them every other day makes me feel sick.

we talked amongst ourselves, played games, sang songs, smoked together.
and as soon as we fiished the bottle,
we left for home.
because someone was missing,
or rather i was missing someone - qing !
i kinda envy sandra and ahber. boo.


ok, peektures !
i only have a few.
the rest are in marissa's digital cam.
she didn't bring the cable over to s'pore,
so i'll update the rest when she's back in aussie and sends them over to me.

samanth and jo-lynne in ahber's car.


myself with jo-lynne and melvin.
we were all wearing t-shirt and shorts,
because all of us thought it was gonna be a long night an upper changi.


me, sarah and marissa.
the first thing she commented today was,
'essie, your head looks like a lantern.'
after which she said looks like a coconut.
and when we took photos she said i look like carrot.
i seriously don't like my hair.
even qing calls me chao ahlian.

last of all, my precious.


mummy loves you. kisskiss. ;)

haa, samantha asked me not to post her pic up.

but she looks so cute with her pig nose,

i can't resist not posting it up.

i hear thunder now.

i'm starting to feel afraid.

Let's Love.

my home cooked lunch,

packed by mummy and brought by sarah to my workplace on saturday.

my mummy's so cute.

if only qing would have dinner over at my place one day.

i'm off today, so is qing.
i really wished we could spend some time together,
and i guessed the dinner we had at home is enough.
he's out with his colleagues,
and i'm all alone facing the laptop.
i can't find other meaningful things to do,
besides lazing around in the room.

qing allowed me to join him,

but he has already forgotten my existence,

admist the fun he's having now.
tried reading my storybook,
but i can't concentrate.
tried watching online movies,
but i don't know how to navigate the websites.
time is never enough when we're together.

this is what i mean,
psp eats boyfriend !


occasionally, i feel that i need a straight heart-to-heart talk with him.
about the things he does and the things i do,
or even anything under the sun.

i don't want what others always envied,

to vanish into nothing,

leaving only trails of memories.
i need to stay focused,
because thats a strong way to live.
i miss qing already, damn this heart of mine.

Let's Love.

what i believe, what i do and how i behave,
has a massive effect on what i call love success.
i want to get out there, have a decent job,
and pursue my dreams.
i guess, love success is the cherry on a cake.
not all relationships run smoothly.
i don't want to fall into traps of thinking things would be easy,
because i absolutely adore, respect and admire that person -
( i'm talking about qing respectively. )
this would lead to disaster and doom.
i don't want this relationship to be in tatters or near it.
who wants and need all those pressure ?
i don't want an acrimonious break up,
a longer period of recovery,
and often bitterness and regret.
ok, i believe we can still work things out.
therefore, i've gotta start likeing myself,
and not doubt his love.



i dyed my hair and had a haircut at monsoon's academy ytd.
i incredibly spent 7hours, or maybe more there.
time includes waiting, bleaching, bleaching again,
dye color 1, highlight color 2, highlight color 3,
back to color 1 then 2 then 3,
color 1 then 2 then 3,
color 1 then 2 then 3 again,
followed by haircut.
am so not used to it, because my hair is so red,
and my fringe is so short.

don't get a shock. this is adam's styling.
so exploded i look like aunty,
i don't like the make up cus it doesn't suit me.
makes me look so wild.
but i love the way my eyes are drawn. ;)
it's nice to get this kinda exposure.
at least i'll know how to groom myself for whatever occasion in the future.
however, i guess i'll be too lazy to do anything to my hair,
except for leaving it straight.


i'm so exhausted.
but to end this entry,
happy birthday to my cousin melvin,
who is finally only 18.

me and sarah, with drunkard melvin !

good night world,

i'm gonna bum around on the bed,

with qing already sleeping.

i feel like we're strangers.

he hasn't replied my sms-es the whole of today.

love brings sadness and misery into life,

but without love, life seems so weird.

qing,

i may be unreasonable, cranky and irratable.

but that's because i already feel so comfortable with you by my side.

sometimes, we hafta move out of our comfort zone.

i wished that you'll always be that sweet to me.

nevertheless, i still love you baby.

Let's Love.

firstly,

happy 13months to me and qing on the 8th.

it is scientifically proven that girls can multi-task.

that's what i'm doing now,

eating my maggie mee and blogging.

i realised i always have no idea,

of what title i'm supposed to use for entries like this.

qing abandoned me for his psp,

so i guess that's why i'm here.

sundays the same - mahjong.

i'm getting the hang of the game,

so i suggested playing mahjong today to qing.

but he just threw me two words, 'gian pua !'

hahaha.

qing's off today but surprisingly he chose to stay at home.

i went to monsoon's academy to let adam try my hair out.

because i have free time on my hands,

i decided why not ?

i get the exposure and i really don't wanna be sleeping the whole day long.

but qing's always against me doing all these kinda things.

yep, he has his reasons. i know.

but i need to be there again tml morning,

for his presentation on my hair.

i took my advance theory today,

and i'm so god dammit happy that i passed.

it wasnt by luck ok, i studied.

came home and was idling on the bed till i fell asleep.

had qing disturbing me throughout the sleep,

but i like it though.

he - has been so nice recently,

he - helped me collect my shoes from the cobbler on friday.

he - is so dear to me. ;)

Let's Love.

i realised in the previous post,

i used a sentence, "i feel so fat now."

on tuesday, i went to the library with sarah to borrow books for self-improvement.

i happened to chance on a book which says that fat is not an emotion.

fat has become a catchall phrase we assign to the emotions we are at a loss to describe.

fat, in general sense,

means uneasiness and dissatisfaction in our lives -

because we are not fulfilled in our jobs, relationships,

friendships or self-esteem thus we focus on the external.

i find this so true because,

it seems that the external is more within our realm of control and infleunce.

no wonder i feel so fat everytime i look into the mirror.

anyway, qing came down to my workplace that night.

he bought me donuts which i gave sarah some to take home,

and he waited for me to knock off.

yesterday i was off.

so it was ironing and washing of clothes.

went to meet qing, baba and mouse over at taka.

watched the lion dance competition for awhile,

den headed for teppanyaki at wisma.

i love the garlic mushroom set !

was home early, so watched contract lover on dvd with qing.

i love days like these -

time to relax.

anyway sarah&sandra had their advance theory today.

both of them passed.

mine's on the following monday.

i hope i can pass too.

Let's Love.

Let's Love.

one bad news !

mummy took back both my credit cards,

because of my mountain of debts.

sarah and sandra still has theirs - 3 each.

thats unfair.

no more shopping with them,

because i think i'll be sulking throughout to day.

anyway i went home on saturday afternoon.

mummy cooked steamboat again.

this time i ate alone,

because the rest of them had eaten earlier.

samantha called me and told me they were hungry already,

and asked what time i would be home.

i was sleeping then so i asked them to go ahead without me.

i usually cant get to sleep -

when the rest of the world is already asleep.

and when i wake up in the morning to see qing go off for work,

i can't get back into slumber although i am really really tired.

and it seems scary to me.

i realised, having steamboat alone is boring.

no one around me to talk to.

i have to emphasize that mummy's still the best.

i wish we could become closer as a family,

that includes qing.

and i want to get closer to his family too.

i think i'm almost there. ;)

qing is off today, so am i.
however, this sunday is not the usual.
no mahjong today.
we woke up in the early afternoon,
and headed to suntec city's convection hall for the comex fair 07.
there were so many people,
we practically had difficulty walking,
and it was rather annoying because people were just pushing their way through.
the scenario there is even worst then a bustling city -
err, such as bangkok ? haa.
anyway, we didn't go home empty handed.
qing got himself a router and an adapter,
so we can surf net anywhere around the house now.


went to carrefour after that but din really get anything.
wanted to head home but the taxi queue was so long.
so we headed to raffles city.
and look at my loot !
all food from the marketplace.

wow ! i wonder when all these food can be finished up.



i love these since young.
couldnt make up my mind on which to buy,
so got all 3. ;)


we brought subway and mos burger home.
dinner at home.
apart from a little quarrel in the afternoon,
everything else was nice.
with just me and qing.

Let's Love.