this is a really random entry because i wanna announce that...
HARRISON is so stupid ! ;x
i know he reads my blog. ;)


p/s: his face ain't touching my face !


oh god, i'm so intoxicated with alcohol,and i can't force it out of my body by puking.


sucha wasted night. boo.

i knw is muz be kinda hard fer ya yea, hav to stay up late waitin fer me

me and sarah at the forecast 2007 (hairshow by monsoon at dragonfly).
the theme was geisha's which explains why our makeups were done like this.
sarah's hair won the champion for her stylist for avan-grade hairstyle. ;)
i slept for 2hours the day before,
and woke up in time to report at 10am.
had our hair done, make up done, costumes done and,
rehersals rehersals and more rehersals.
i was really tired but was enjoying the process of it.
the show was suposed to start at 8pm,
however it was dragged to 10pm.
i was the first on stage for the show,
first on stage for the finale.
but i was amazed that despite the thousands of eyes staring at me,
i wasn't feeling nervous.
probably due to my make up i thought no one could recognise me.
no laaaaaaa, it's because i learnt to be confident. ;)
darling commented i was so cute,
looking like a small girl being brought out by adam who is my 'big brother'.
overall, it's nice being on stage with so many eyes watching you.
some people may never get this chance.


anyway left immediately after the show,
though we were invited to party at movida,
with the invited guests and the monsoon group.
i went over to zijie's house to look for my baby baby.
just in time to see them finish their last round of mahjong.
my hands were itchy but i was exhausted,
so it was good they didn't say wanna play one more round.
came home and watched 'why why love',
even though qing was asking me to go to bed.
anyway i fell asleep halfway through.
and woke up only at 6.20pm today.
gosh, i must be really worn out.
i just wasted the day sleeping away. i hate !

hello world,
it's 5.42 in the morning.
i just kissed qing goodnight and he's on the bed snoring away.
i had a marathon of taiwanese serial shows the whole of today,
with the companion of qing.
i initially planned to go home today.
i still feel bad about the cake and i wanted to see my mummy.
however, qing didn't wanna accompany and i somehow was lazyyyy.
had macdonalds delivery for dinner.

qing is out of job now.
i've got no say because he just quit suddenly.
well, i hope he finds a stable job to his interest soon.
and myself, a job in the hotel or cosmetics line.
i don't want to go for anything that doesn't interest me,
because i don't wanna find me dragging myself out of bed every morning.
it would be a dread, even only thinking about it.
at least, out of 3days since he stopped working,
he bought lunch for me for 2days.
sometimes i just don't know what to say,
or what to do, but i really really really appreciate it -
alot alot alot.
i've typed it 3times down here,
so i really mean it.
just like when my mum does little or even simple things for me,
i don't even have the courage to say thank you to her.
makes me feel like shit. SHIT. shit.

i find that qing is getting a little too dependant on me
occasionally i'll feel tired. no doubt.
but i'm willing to do anything for him,
cus of the sake of us.
and maybe he doesn't know,
but he has this bad habit of not answering me when i ask qns.
maybe its because its me,
i don't see him behaving this way towards his friends.
sigh.
okay, maybe he's angry with me.
i needa go to monsoon's academy to have my hair dyed again later on.
i didn't want to, but because of the hair show on 14th.
i didn't know i had to prepare my hair tml for sunday.


yes i am very possesive,
though i know it's not good,
but i can't help it but feel this way.
i feel that i'm much much weaker then i was before.
crying over small matters,
even when i accidentally banged my knee on the wall just now.
i realised i can no longer take pain.
if only qing would be so understanding and to open up a little.
i don't think it's right because qing never cares about my interests.
ok you're right. i'm always wrong.
i shouldn't have agreed to help adam in the first place.
because i didn't know i had to go back to monsoon's academy for a few sessions.
maybe sometimes we should listen to explanations.
qing didn't even wanna listen to me speak.
leaves me constantly thinking,
is this a relationship because we're in love ?
or is this a relationship because we are already so used to having each other by our side thus we feel uneasy if either of us is not around ?
qing already gave me his answer,
but i'm still wondering.......

ok, i'm done whining here.
enough said.
to end this entry,
a lovely group picture. good night world.

things arent going on smoothly for me.
my heart was in a total wreck yesterday night.
i was thinking of alot of things like...
why qing doesnt wanna get involved with my family.
why qing replies sms-es to other girls when he seldom replies me while he's at work.
why qing uses another hp to send text messages.
why qing always doesnt have much to say.
why qing can never give my heart enough.
why do we have communication between a soft toy.
why why and why.
thats why i love him anyway, endlessly.
when nothing he does could change my mind.



i wanted to shave my eyebrows,
but all i got was this cut which couldn't stop bleeding.
it hurts so much.

today, sarah and sandra had their birthday celebration at studio 8teen.
samantha was drunk and i was mad.
cannot hold her liquor den don't drink at all.
it's not like nobody cares for her.
was waiting for kway chap bf to come so that sarah&sandra could cut the cake.
i help the cake to the table with the birthday song already playing,
19 candles nicely lit.
amidst the birthday song, the cake fell.
this are the remains.

i'm not gonna mention how it fell,
but i was utterly disappointed with myself.
i shouldnt let this kinda things happen,
on what was supposed to be a happy occasion.
i cried.
because i wasted my mum's effort to place an order for the cake,
the waste of hundred dollars.
and samantha's effort for carrying the cake all the way to my workplace.
no one wanted to eat it.
look at how cute my mummy is.
i realised how important my family is to me.
i love my mummy so much so much.

i need a job.
i mean i need a day job.
anyone can recommend me one ?
probably something in the cosmetics or hotel line ?
i feel so wasted staying at home everyday.
i need cash,
so i can proceed with hong kong trip with qing,
this coming march.

♥ ♥ ♥ ;

♥ Daisy ♥ Janice ♥ Jolynn ♥ Linlin
♥ Lunnie ♥ Marissa ♥ Michael
♥ Mindy ♥ Nicole ♥ Patricia ♥ Peipei
♥ Samantha ♥ Sandra ♥ Sasa
♥ Serene ♥ ShinFen ♥ Shirley
♥ Shugar ♥ Staciy ♥ Vanilla ♥ Vera
♥ Yangz ♥ Yawen

♥ ♥ ♥ ;

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