♥♥ That's When I Love You ;;

•Tuesday, January 30, 2007•5:51 AM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

to work, este and home.

was late to meet ziyuan at my new workplace.

supposed to meet at 7, but i reached there at 9.

started work at 11 today.

i did'nt wanna wake up today,

cus i did'nt wanna face the reality - all by myself.

it's cruel.

was trying to occupy my time with the customers while i was working,

but my mind always drifts.

i broke down when i heard someone talking bout. . .

am having a splitting headache now.

guess was because i havent eaten the whole day,

but still, i drank.

i dunno wads with this infleunce with alcohol.

quite a nasty experience for me.

guess i hafta ask myself,

" what the fuck i'm doing with my life, yet again. "

so many things i wanna do but yet no time,

i don't even noe what i spend my time on.

i'm hurting and hoping and praying that you'll always be around.

i thought about calling you,

but i decided not to,

when i thought about what you always do to me,

& the way you would react if i did.

heading to bed.

Let's Love.

•Monday, January 29, 2007•3:05 AM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

why can't i just tumble straight to the bottom all in one go,

get over and done with it.

i understand the wisdom of pulling a plaster off with a single,

flamboyant, eye-watering rip. . .
but when it comes to the matters of the heart,

i remove things from me with painful slowness.

i need to be thumped on the head.

battered into the ground,

before i can finally believe or accept the truth & the reality,

of what's just left my life.

giving up on things/people doesn't come easily to me.

& letting go was never one of my strong points.

over the past 40minutes i've regained some of my sanity.

& i realised i can't do this forever.

so i've chosen to let go.

so tired of trying to keep the faith.

its so sad i just HAD TO cry.

i hate what female hormones do to me.

majority of guys dont have this emo-hormone.

why do we girls have to have it?

sometimes these hormones cause undesirable effects such as heavy hearts.

i mean it, it actually feels physically heavy. sigh.

i think i'm crazy.

so everyone should leave me alone.

u wouldnt want to mix around with a nut who has no real life,

and only talks to her blog.

who gives a shit anyway ?

Let's Love.

•Sunday, January 28, 2007•5:05 AM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

不否认 - 我心里不能平衡.

不否认 - 我对你失去的不只信任, 还有容忍.

不速之客爱着伤我的人.

不否认 - 我对你还有一点的心疼.

你不爱了我却无法把你当敌人.

我想要微笑表情却跟我唱反调..

have u ever felt that u were mad ?

mentally unstable?

too many thoughts, impossible to list them.

a hundred mixed emotions i don't know which to express.

i wish i could get rid of this fucking feeling.

it's driving me nuts.

Let's Love.

•Monday, January 15, 2007•6:26 AM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

i was behaving like a grub today,

lazing around the house.

i woke up, ate mummy's home cooked lunch

& went back to sleep.. ..

till i received a call, asking for my help,

to go down to work today as they were short of waitresses.

true enough, i was the only one working today.

didn't wanna stay at home having nothing to do,

cus it's really suffocating having thots of him.

am dead beat now.

dragonfly after work with aik & co, andrew & the girls.

sucked big time.

i figured. no one to turn to,

so i shall tok to my pathetic blog.

something hit me hard just now.

sometimes you just have to accept the facts

& look at it in perspective, from my point of view of course.

in reality - you&i will never be.

typical males. grrr. i ain't ready for another relationship yet.

you guessed it ?

we just tried to drag it on and on.

you've got me, den u lose me.

you forget all the things that are important to me,

so we go in circles.

ok, i've had it. i dun wan this to be a neverending game.

which breakup is ever easy ?

i'll be lying if i said,

"no, it doesn't hurt," or

"no, i din cry my eyeballs out."

argh, it's really frustrating thinking back though.

i'm a fool. period.

gonna hide under my blankets & hate the world.

nighty-night.

Let's Love.

•Saturday, January 13, 2007•7:37 PM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

i can't imagine me without you.

big girls dun cry.

Let's Love.

•Friday, January 12, 2007•9:34 AM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

i've been feeling feverish for the past two days,
& it doesn't seem to get any better.
i feel like chopping off my nose,
i can't breathe.

relationship wise,
everything's so complicated.
i noe what i wan, so say it ain't so
cus i dun wanna go.
when your lover's gone, no one is there to share the pain.
and all the alcohol would never help me forget.

-我害怕会失去你的感觉

Let's Love.

•Monday, January 01, 2007•8:41 PM Y

fitted together, like two halves of a heart.

spent new year eve working.

den to dragonfly with the usuals.

dragonfly was sardine-packed.

saw qing & asked if i could follow him to wherever he was gg,

but his answer was, there were only colleagues there.

ok fine, so there i was spendin the rest of the time sulking away.

say byebye to 2006, hello 2007 !
2006 was a bad year for me.

there were times when i was down in the dumps,

& i felt the whole world eating me up.
i hope 2007 will be better.

new year resolutions.
- get a better job.

am not really happy with my job now.

am considering helping my fren out over at his side in february,

or should i say i have already agreed to go over ?

actually, i would prefer a day job.
- be a good girl, i noe my mum cares for me.
- be a responsible gf.

am still not sure of his feeling's towards me.

but i wanna hold on to what makes me happy.

- be happy !

- go for my lessons & get my class 3 license.

- lose weight.

no one noes what the future holds.

will be back to update photos.

p/s : happy new year !

Let's Love.